Supporting Siblings of Children with Cancer

A sudden change in roles and routines with a child’s cancer can deeply affect the whole family, including siblings. Feelings of sadness, anxiety, anger, and guilt are common and normal. If these feelings aren’t acknowledged and addressed, they can lead to negative thoughts and behaviors. Having strong support and people they can trust is very important for siblings.

Some common stressors for siblings might be:

  • Less attention from parents
  • Uncertainty about what is going on with their sibling
  • Not being able to see or talk to their sibling everyday
  • Not getting to hang out with friends or do activities as much
  • Added responsibilities and independence

What parents can do to support siblings

Be honest with siblings about what’s going on. Explain things in a way each child understands. Not every child will understand why parents or caregivers must spend so much time away.

You might not be able to change the fact that you need to be with your sick child to care for them. But you can provide siblings with reassurance and comfort.

Be honest and open

  • Talk about the cancer. If they can understand, explain in simple words what cancer their sibling has and what that means. Tell them they can ask questions. Reassure them that they can’t catch it and they didn’t cause it.
  • Acknowledge the situation. Try saying something like, “I know that this is really hard for you. I know that we aren’t spending as much time together as I would like. But I want you to know how much I love you and miss you when I’m away.”

Help siblings feel included

  • Make special plans. Siblings can feel jealous when they’re not able to spend as much time with you. If you’re able, plan individual time with the sibling. You could take them to dinner or somewhere fun where you can give them your full attention.
  • Visits and phone calls. Bring the sibling to the hospital to visit. Introduce them to the cancer care team. Show them around. Make them feel like they’re an important part of this experience, too.

Keep daily life stable

  • Keep a routine. If you’re able to, let family and friends help keep the child’s routine as normal as possible by taking them to their usual activities like sports practice or visiting a friend’s house.
  • Share with other adults in their life. Tell your child’s school or daycare as much as you feel comfortable with. Even if it’s just that they might need a little extra attention or they’re having a tough time.

Get siblings support

  • Encourage them to talk to someone if they’re struggling. Some siblings might not say anything because they feel guilty or selfish when they know their sibling is sick. Remind them often that they can talk to you or another trusted adult. Remind them that you want to know when they’re sad or upset so you can get through it together. Reassure them that feeling this way is normal and not selfish.
  • Reach out for help. Ask the cancer care team if they know of resources or support for siblings of kids with cancer.

Learn more about talking to kids about cancer and cancer treatment in Helping Your Child Adjust to a Cancer Diagnosis.

Supporting siblings by age

Every child responds differently depending on their age. Find tips below based on your child's age.

  • Keep them close if possible or use video calls.
  • Record stories and messages for them.
  • Reassure them you’ll be back soon.
  • Try to be a part of their regular routine where you can, such as a morning meal or bedtime routine.
  • Cuddle and hug them a lot.

  • Tell them that their sibling is sick and doctors are helping.
  • Keep their routines and rules the same.
  • Be patient. They might act younger when they’re stressed, such as having tantrums or having accidents even if they’re potty-trained.
  • Reassure them they didn’t do anything wrong or cause the cancer.
  • Give simple and honest reasons if your child asks why you’re crying or sad. You can just say something like, "I am crying because I am sad."

Communicate honestly

  • Invite and answer their questions as honestly as possible.
  • Reassure them they didn’t do anything wrong or cause the cancer.
  • Encourage them to have fun and not feel guilty.

Help them stay connected

  • Suggest siblings write, call, or send drawings, pictures, text messages, emails, or voice messages to their sibling.
  • Allow them to visit their sick siblings, when possible, during hospital stays.
  • Try to make time for one-on-one attention to avoid feelings of jealousy or being left out.
  • Consider programs or camps for siblings where they might be able to connect with others in a similar situation.

Keep stable schedules

  • Try to keep routines when possible.
  • When possible, let the sibling help choose where to go after school and have a voice in who cares for them when a parent can’t be there.

Support their independence and voice

  • Let them ask questions to the cancer care team.
  • Ask if there’s a support group for siblings.
  • Talk about any worries they have.

Keep them connected to their life and their sibling

  • Encourage them to stay active in school and other activities.
  • Allow them to visit their sick siblings when possible during hospital stays.
  • Find time to spend time with them individually, whether it’s going to their sporting event or activity, or going out to a special dinner.

Watch for their well-being

  • Encourage daily self-care activities, such as grooming, eating well, exercise, and getting rest.
  • Ask them to help at home, but don’t overload them.
  • Watch for behavior changes and ask for help if needed.
  • Share the cancer diagnosis with a trusted adult your child can rely on when they need to talk. This could be a school counselor, teacher, coach, or family member.

Knowing when your child needs extra help

It’s normal and OK for kids to struggle with stress. Keeping open and honest communication is one of the most important things you can do for your child’s mental well-being.

Some children might benefit from extra support. Your child may need more support if they:

  • Feel sad or cry all the time
  • Become very irritable or angry
  • Withdraw from family and friends
  • Skip school or other activities they used to enjoy
  • Are unable to sleep or sleep too much
  • Eat a lot more or a lot less than usual

Don’t ignore these signs. Tell your cancer care team about your concerns. Specialists like psychologists or social workers support the whole family through these difficult times and have resources that can help.

Get help right away

Call or text 988 to reach the if your child:

  • Talks about suicide or hurting themselves
  • Talks about wanting to die, even without a plan, or hopes something will happen to cause their death
  • Shows any other signs that make you worried about their safety

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The P站视频 medical and editorial content team

Our team is made up of doctors and oncology certified nurses with deep knowledge of cancer care as well as editors and translators with extensive experience in medical writing.

 

Children’s Oncology Group. Family Handbook for Children with Cancer. 2024. Accessed at https://childrensoncologygroup.org/docs/default-source/pdf/english_cog_family_handbook.pdf on May 21, 2026.

National Cancer Institute. Children with cancer: a guide for parents. National Institutes of Health. September 2015. Accessed May 26, 2026. https://www.cancer.gov/publications/patient-education/children-with-cancer.pdf

US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Children’s Mental Health: Anxiety and Depression in Children. 2026. Accessed at https://www.cdc.gov/children-mental-health/about/about-anxiety-and-depression-in-children.html on May 21, 2026.

Wawrzynski SE, Schaefer MR, Schvaneveldt N, Alderfer MA. Social support and siblings of children with cancer: A scoping review. Psychooncology. 2021;30(8):1232-1245.

Last Revised: July 21, 2026

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